Monday, October 17, 2011

So, first, an apology.


An Apology for ... my spelling and word choice mistakes.  Today, I took the time to read my last several posts (I'm tempted to say call them 'rants' but I view rants as basically valueless outbursts and something to be avoided in type.) Seems the spell checker with my browser missed "a few errors" but more likely found are the problems with "wrong word" selection.  In the rush to get the thoughts out of my head in a stream of thought, I can select the wrong word and go on without the proper diligence of a writer.  Witting fatigue and time distractions don't help matters either.

My Daughter is about 19 months old now.  She's great!  My wife and I agreed early this year to move the family back to The States. It was a no-brainer, at least at the beginning of the year.  Now, back in The States, we are trying to fit in with the difficult economic and labor situations and can see some details we forgot to consider earlier.  That's life: a process of gaining experiences.

Now back "Home", I have had a little time to clear my head and start looking back at my experiences in Europe.  I had a hard time but mostly because I felt left out, disconnected.  I didn't speak nor read the dominant language with much of any utility.  After several years of being left out of the conversation, I wasn't really feeling like myself (read: I was depressed.)  Towards the end of my stay, I finally found some quality friends that were available on a weekly basis, if not a daily basis.  Too bad it really came together after our departure plans were set in motion.

After 4 Years, I am back in house.  I got very lucky.  I had good people (aka room mates) who took great care of my place while I was off "having a life adventure".  Other than two missing boxes of personal property (suspected accidental garage sale inclusion,) things at the home turned out pretty well. I even bought my old truck back from my brother-n-law which is in pretty fair shape for its age.

Still, there are Some Things I am Missing.  For my time away, I guess I was dreaming about "my friends back home" and probably had an overly romanticized idea of my home coming with my new family.  I guess being away so long has left a lot of space in a lot of relationships.  In some cases, I was met with rude surprise of an old friend who, having falling on hard and emotion times, decided anger was to be my reception, anger for leaving them to go have more of a life.  Odd and sad but easy to handle: good bye.  Others have had a difficult time understand where my head was at and the struggle to get it screwed back on straight.  Nothing to be done but let them go quietly their own way.

And Then Fate...my wife and I had plans, pretty big plans for getting ourselves setup and going when we got to our new home.  Thus far, after 3 months, nothing has gone right.  The political and economic problems in Greece, the near-apathy of local city government's response to flooding in my neighborhood last year and the expense of just getting the family setup has killed all of our house plans.  The distance of friends and family, the differences in social cultures and need to conserve resources while looking for elusive employment has left us a bit more house-bound and child-bound than we accustomed.  "No, not this way", Fate seems to say.

Oddly, my daughter brings some Solutions.  Want to make new friends?  Have a pretty amazing child; they provide great conversation starters with other parents!  We have meet two couples in the last two weeks with equally amazing children and we are in the process of forming potential friendships, not unlike those my wife and I had in Europe before we left.  It's not the same as 'planning to meet in the park later and decide what to do next' but We will still accept what we can get.

All in all, Things are Ok.  Not too loud, not to quiet, a little more stationary than in-motion, a little less stress but a little more uncertainty and distant worries.  We have to plan our life, not around week day evenings and weekends as it was before I left, but around 5 minutes time slices anywhere we can find them. The house kitchen is getting used and produces healthy foods which we enjoy.  The backyard occasionally gets a visit from the woodland creatures in the dark of night and the cool early mornings just after dawn.  And we get to do a bit of reading or writing when the tired little one ends her daily struggles not to miss anything and slips away to dream.

It's not so bad. 


Disclaimer: written while a little tired, proofread three times while mostly tired, "publish" button pressed while really tired just before bed.  Mistakes most likely are present.