More than a "Thank you", Respect

On the way home, I have to travel a freeway that's under construction. For the trip home, freeway construction consists taking three lanes down to two. Skipping the obvious problem about the construction crews ability to find the exact wrong place the lane merge signs, there are some interest driving behaviors to witness.

As you come up an overpass, the left most lane merges into the, then, center lane. The flashing arrow sigh signaling "merge right", is just at the top of the overpass, thus it can't be easily seen from the bottom of the freeway overpass, before the rise. During rush hour, this lane merge becomes a sticking point.

Traffic patterns, like people, repeat. The same people travel south in the mornings and then north in the evenings. Now, of course there are some variations but as a generalization, this is a good summary. And thus the frustration.

A fair number of north-bound travelers get selective amnesia when traveling home. Pulling in the left lane near the pending end of the freeway and start of construction, they act surprised when, at the top of the overpass, they "suddenly see" the merge right flashing sign. (Note: it can be seen miles way but that's not apparently isn't as important because it's not as visible on the approach to that particular overpass and thus creates plausible deniability and just plausible ignorance.)

Me, because I travel south in the mornings and north in the evenings, know the sign exists. I can see if for miles and it's been their for months now. As I draw closer, I gauge traffic and, well before the overpass roadway starts to rise, I get in the center lane. I make peace with the fact that this is where I need to be to travel onward north through this freeway construction.

Other, with their selective memory and plausible ignorance, pop out of the center and the right lanes (I've seen it, they do it) and get in the attractively (usually) uncrowded left lane. I suggest they know about the merge right but that's just me putting my driving awareness, study of my life and my routines on others and maybe that's not completely fair. I mean, my drivers education class drilled we students endlessly to "be aware of your surroundings while driving."

So, comes the point of mock surprise and frustration: the end of the left lane. It is interested to note that, even when the flashing "merge right" sign is in full view, how many drivers continue in the left lane to within 10 feet of the sign and then play the "mock surprise" look, the "please forgive me for being here" glance and "let me get in front of you" leer up the center lane folks, namely, here, me.

I watch people shooting up the left lane, heading for eventual merge and wonder about their arrogance's, their "me first" attitude. For ever one car that inserts forcibly into the center lane, minimum two car lengths of travel are lost. One car length for the vehicle it's self. The second car length is in the negotiation and in reaction time for the insertion to be completed. Reaction time travels in heavy traffic like a reverse wave, magnifying in stop-n-go traffic. Pay attention next time you're in a traffic jam and you'll find it's true. A 3/4 second reaction for you (that's the usually best reaction time) becomes a 1.5 seconds in the space of one car. Thus, it takes at least one minute and fifteen seconds to get 100 cars all moving from a dead stop. There ways around this problem but that's subject to a different discussion, rant and social observation.

So, it comes my turn to deal with these left-laner lame-brainers with their plausible ignorance and the magnifying traffic delay effect. Do I let them in? Do I block them out, tail gating the car in front of me in vehicular protest, as if to say "I don't believe you are that stupid Buddy. Suffer!" Do I make them work for it first in "resistance protesting"?

Yes to all of the above. Those with the "kiss my bumper" attitude usually get the "get behind me stupid" response from me when I can swing it. It's not the mock surprise that gets me, it's the arrogance of "deal with it" in their driving style. I try to be relaxed and let one free-of-hassle left-laner in usually. More than one disrespects the hundred of cars behind me that will suffer for the extra intrusion if additional minutes and potentially tens of minutes, depending how far back they are. Occasional, when I'm feeling rather disgusted with the rude, "me first" driving generation, I just tailgate and block. No one gets in. I don't look left, cutting off any negotiation for center lane access. My only focus is the one foot space been me and the car in front of me. I hate it when I'm like that and it doesn't balance out the left-laner problem at all. I get to be human sometimes.

On those occasions that I left someone in, they usually wave. All fingers and full back of the hand, they wave. The wave usually is more about "we negotiated things and I got in front of you" and less about a real "thank you." Think about it and you'll know the difference between the two gestures. It's in the intensity of the wave.

Still, there is an element of "thank you" and I do appreciate each wave, even from the left-laners that force into my lane without regard to anyone else. It's at least an acknowledge of me, whether of me as "a driver that didn't ram them" or them as "the conquering driver hero", it's really unclear and mostly unimportant by that time.

"Thank you"... "Thank you." A lot of people thinks that "Please" and "Thank you" is all that's needed to get by in the world, all that's need to get what you want. This is how seems to be with young children. They understand the "magic words" and use them to customize their experience, either in advance or after wards. "Magic words" - bad idea.

Sadly, we are losing the understanding that "please" and "thank you" aren't the beginning and end of a human interactions. They are side effects of a larger concept: respect. Respecting someone holds the chance they your request may be declined and that it'll be okay, either way. Respect holds the concept of "other" and even more dear concept "value of other". I have been "please"d and "thank you"d many times and without respect for my person. Without respect, "please" and "thank you" are nothing more than a verbal and/or non-verbal victory dance for getting what you wanted from someone else, regardless of anyone but self.

More than a "please" or a "thank you", I'd like a bit more respect in my world.